It’s no secret I have a love affair with my kitchen. There’s something soothing, calming, exciting and completely emotional about cooking to me. But there’s something else I’ve been cooking for the past 20 weeks (4.5 months) that doesn’t involve much food at all. Yep, I’m baking a little baby in my belly. Hooray!
I’ve held off writing this post for numerous reasons. Mainly because sharing this deeply personal news with the masses is, well, deeply personal, but I figure there’s so much to share and learn and experience in this whole pregnancy thing that now is the perfect time to express myself. Plus, I’ve always maintained a pretty open, honest relationship with all of you Happies, so why would this be any different?
It all started with a Ka Huna Massage, I swear that massage opened me up in ways I never imagined. I felt emotionally free, uninhibited, open to receiving love and just a little bit more flexible than ever before. All good recipes for baby making, I think.
My husband and I were lucky enough to fall pregnant as soon as we’d had the ‘let’s just give a whirl’ chat, something I was a little unprepared for, but once I got over the sordid reality of morning sickness (which, by the way, is total BS. It’s 24/7 sickness and can strike at any time. Or all times as in my case), and accepted losing complete control of my eating habits, body, thoughts, emotions… everything, I began enjoying this wonderful, crazy process greatly. But more on all that later. Oh, and if you’re not pregnant nor give two hoots about pregnancy (which was me only a few months ago) fear not! This is not about to turn into a mummy blog, there’s plenty of those already out there, rather a journey into even more life lessons like the art of letting go, accepting your body the way it is, and riding emotional roller coasters with grace. Because that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? For all of us.
And so, it is with a little skip in my step, a serious case of excitement and a dash of trepidation tossed in that I begin this new, happy journey with all of you. Here’s a snippet of what I’ve learned so far.
1. Control, pft, who needs it?
Image via Pinterest
Over the past few years I’ve looked a lot at my own life and focussed on the art of non-attachment, letting go, creating balance, peace and harmony. Well, let me tell you right now I wasn’t anywhere near as far along as I thought I was. Falling pregnant is a rather terrifying reality. Of course, it’s exciting, but for those first few days I found fears, self-doubts and control issues all bubble to surface. I’ve worked through them now, through a shit load of yoga classes and meditation, only to realise that control is a complete myth. Even if you like to think you have control over what you eat, what you do, where you go, etc, true inner peace comes from letting all that expectation go and just going with the flow. I’m not sure whether it’s the hormones or my new-found inner peace, but I’m now moving with the tide rather than against it. And it’s out of control amazing, I tell you.
2. Beware of energetic massages. Actually that’s a lie, embrace them
As I mentioned above Ka Huna Massage was most definitely a catalyst for the small human in my belly. Of course, there’s no scientific merit behind this, but my instincts are telling me that I have Gavin to thank. You have to be careful of massage when you’re with child, there’s something about the pressure points and extra blood flow and the like that need to be taken into account, but when you’re feeling stiffer, tighter, older and heavier than you have in all your life, the ironic truth is that all you want is a massage. GIVE IT TO ME, PLEASE! Lucky Gavin is a swift hand at preggo massage as well, so upon learning of my condition and assessing my awkwardly spasming hip issue, he assured me he could fix it. Of which he did.
However, in typical Ka Huna style, Gav also managed to clear the emotional airwaves once again and leave me lying in a bubble of serenity. My point? Energetic massages such as this are there to be embraced. They’re a gift, Happies. Get one!
3. Hey kale, I hate you. Or at least I did
One of the most ironic tales of this process is that I have had a large number of food aversions. No cravings as yet, just a deep, burning hatred for kale. Seriously! At first this was deeply frustrating for me; how could I, the lover of all things green, not be able to eat kale? I mean, it was sacrilege. But the texture, taste, smell… YUCK! But then I came to terms with the whole loss of control thing and started to realise that while kale isn’t my friend right now, he will return into the realm when ready. And, just like that, after about 3 months, he’s back on the scene. That’s not to say that my devoted husband didn’t try, consistently, to hide raw leafy greens in all my meals (folate, you see), alas, he was never successful. But here’s something else I learned, Happies: Whether you’re pregnant or not, your body tells you what it wants and what is doesn’t. Sure, you have to ignore it sometimes when it’s telling you to go back for your fourth serving of ice cream, but generally speaking, it’s a machine of its own, and we’re merely the servants.
So that’s it! That’s my big news for 2013. I look forward to sharing this journey with all of you and promise not to make it all nappies and dummies and poo-stained clothes. There’s a lesson in pregnancy that’s relevant to us all, and I’m on a mission to share it.