My husband wore shorts on our wedding day

This isn’t really a story about shorts. It’s actually a story about bucking trends. A story about letting go, staying true to yourself, and never ever trying to change the person you love. Because hey, you love them. That’s reason enough, isn’t it?

It’s an interesting phenomenon the Wedding Day. Packed with historical traditions that most people have forgotten the symbolism to (I mean, why do we wear garters and have 10 bridesmaids?), it’s one of the few events in life where people can get so caught up in the hype, they forget what it is exactly they’re there to do – commit to your partner and promise to love them just a little bit more tomorrow, than you do today, and never try to change them, among other things.

With divorce rates on the rise, and currently every third Australian marriage ending in divorce, it’s a grim outlook for a newly married woman such as myself. You’d hope, as you stand up at the alter (or garden gazebo in my case) that this will be your one and only time standing here; staring into the eyes of the man you love. You’d also work your damn hardest to keep the love flowing freely and the communication open to try to avoid being yet another statistic. But life happens, and while you can try to safeguard your relationship against such situations, at the end of the day, you can only control yourself. Not your husband.

For me, the idea of having a big white wedding was terrifying. It just wasn’t an option, as I didn’t want to stress, or plan, or over plan, or for it to lose any of its meaning. But don’t for a second think that I’m anti weddings. In fact, I love traditional weddings. I love all the joy, and fun, and celebration of these events especially when it’s what the couple want. Not what their family want. Or their friends want. But what they want. If that happens to be an oversized dress, horse drawn carriage, far too much makeup, and the local gypsy community rocking up, then hooray for you. Enjoy your special day.

Which brings me to my point, I guess. There’s no right or wrong way to get married. In fact, there’s not really a right or wrong way to do most things in my opinion. For every situation there are hundreds of thousands of different outcomes, the key is finding which one works best for you. If that means getting married in a garden, with only two guests and your husband-to-be wearing cargo shorts because he wants to, then all the more happiness to you.

Here we are walking hand-in-hand into our gazebo…

I think it’s easy to be lead too much by what other people think. Worrying that if you buck a trend, or not do the norm, you will suddenly become the hot topic of conversation among your outer circle. I know I used to worry about such things, before I came to realise that if you surround yourself with happy, positive people, they’re happy and positive in all aspects of life. Including yours.

So, if you find that you make decisions based on how you think you’ll be judged and perceived, here’s what I say to that…STOP! It’s a hard lesson to learn, but at the end of the day, the majority of people just want you to be happy, and in order to be happy you have to stop living someone else’s life and start living your own. It’s as simple as that really.

Tell me…

What is your idea of a dream wedding?

Do you think it’s important to stay true to yourself in these situations?

Do you agree it’s easy to get caught up in wedding day hype?

Stay Happy,
Yx

Advertisements

6 comments

  1. Rachel Magahy · July 29, 2011

    Here, here Yaz! Couldn’t agree with you more and I think it’s something that as I get older and (hopefully) a little wiser, I’m beginning to truly appreciate. There will ALWAYS be naysayers or people that have something to say about the way we do things in life… but that’s their ‘stuff.” It only becomes our “stuff” if we choose to react or take it on. I think your wedding day looked amazing, you and the man you’ll be spending your life with celebrating your love YOUR WAY. My fiance and I are doing so many things a little left of centre for our wedding next year and I can’t wait! Big cheers to the happy newlyweds — and thanks for a great article! xx

  2. Rachel Magahy · July 29, 2011

    haha, that should be “hear hear!”

  3. Anonymous · August 2, 2011

    I hate to sound rude Yaz, but your disdainful description of traditional weddings – ‘oversized dress’ and ‘far too much much make-up’ seems pretty incongruent with your alleged acceptance and position that ‘there is no right or wrong way to get married’.

    • Yaz Turker · August 3, 2011

      Hi Anonymous, you’re not rude at all. I can totally see how you could take my comment the wrong way, however, as I should have referenced in the article, it was actually a remark about the show ‘My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding’ (hence the bit about the local gypsy community rocking up) where the girls have competitions about wearing dresses so big they can’t even fit in their horse drawn carts. It’s pretty funny. There is absolutely no disdain for any weddings – even the ones the show documents. Sorry if it came across that way. Best, Yx

  4. Anonymous · August 2, 2011

    This made me smile. I love that your husband got married in cargo shorts.
    I overheard a work collegue talking about someones wedding the other day, saying it was the worst wedding she’d ever been to and ‘the bar tab ran out at 8pm.’ It’s sad to see people’s self centered approach to weddings. The only two people who have the right to be that way is the bride and groom.
    I’d love to elope, but at the same time I can’t imagine my day being complete without close friends and family. But when the day comes, I definately want to avoid too much stress!

  5. Anita · August 5, 2011

    I wish I had STOPPED and had not worried about other people opinions on my life. I lost my loved one because of this very reason 😦 Many months on, it still brings me to tears.

    Congratulations Yaz!! Good on you for bucking the trend….much health and love to you and your husband.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s