Nothing kills a slow, sexy descent down the stairs quite like the cracking of ankles, backs and other body parts. If I was Angelina Jolie, having to play the part of a screen siren slowly gliding down the stairs into the arms of my lover, I would officially be screwed. I’m 27 years old. And by old, I mean OLD. I’m not sure if it was the years of netball, waterpolo, skiing, touch football and every other imaginable sport on offer, or if it’s just my body, but I creak Happies. I creak like a derelict terrace on a stormy night and quite frankly, I’m over it.
The list of ailments varies, but for the past six months, my complaints have revolved around one very sore, creaky and painful left shoulder. I’ve tried everything from physio to acupuncture and yep, I’ve even subjected myself to a terrifyingly unhealthy dose of radiation in order to take a closer look at the injury. Not to mention the pain of having a cortisone injection stabbed into my raw tissue and the exorbitant cost of an ultrasound. All in all, it can be ascertained that I’d rather cut this limb off than have to deal with it any longer.
Or at least, that was the stage I was at when I met Glenn Walmsley. Glenn is a myotherapist – one of only a handful in the state – and can be credited for my drastic turnaround from battleaxe to screen siren in only a matter of sessions. As it turns out, the relentless pain caused by goodness knows what can, in fact, be fixed courtesy of Glenn’s insanely strong fingers and holistic view on the body.
After months of tests and not really being told what was wrong, Glenn wrapped this puppy up in only a few short minutes. Abut 60 to be exact. The problem was that as a writer, sitting at my desk for hours on end, working over two computer monitors and tapping away at the keyboard at NASCAR speeds, causes the muscles around my shoulders to tighten and tighten and tighten until they are pretty much wrapped around each other.
You see Happies, I hold all my tension in my neck and shoulders, and as I sit and type, my shoulders subconsciously start heading north, taking the scenic route up to my earlobes and hanging out up there. It’s not good for the old posture, as you can imagine, and as a result, all my muscles start swearing and fighting and hating each other, causing me all kinds of pain.
Which brings me, rather conveniently, back to Myotherapy and my mate Glenn. I’m going to allow him to explain what Myotherapy is all about, as he’s the man in charge…”Myotherapy is the systematic manipulation of soft tissue using acupressure and massage, working on the Meridian system to balance the C’hi (energy) of the body.” Well said Glenn, well said.
Here’s my take. Myotherapy takes massage to a whole new level, it’s a similar feeling with warm towels and body oil and vigorous rubbing, but far more intense, and while you lay on the bed coming to the realisation that your body is tighter than a pole dancer’s g-string, your body is slowly, and at times painfully being unravelled right before your eyes. One hour later, you emerge and new person, and a pain-free one at that.
Of course, over time the issue repeats itself as I still haven’t mastered the art of telling my shoulders to sit down and shut up. So, I see Glenn regularly to rectify the situation as I practice my series of stretches and strengthening movements to help heal this baby up. I’ve also just been through a fascinating functional assessment with Glenn, whereby he builds a program created just for your body and needs in order to align the physical body and mind into a happy place. But more on that later. For now, it’s all about muscle release and pain-free sleeps. Oh, and being able to glide down the stairs, sans creaks.
Tell me Happies…
Have you ever heard of Myotherapy?
Do you have a reoccurring injury or are living with pain?